note from hell

1 May 2011..... It wasn’t the usual Monday morning blues. Osama had just checked into Jannat of his dreams(JOHD) with his entourage. Pity he had to leave his begum behind. She was far from expiry date and used to make such nice kebabs. But what the hell... he will now get not one, but an entire harem of women. Not bad eh?

A few hours back, when he was unceremoniously dumped in the sea, there was a moment of confusion and chaos. 3 coy sharks, 2 crazed bottlenose dolphins trying to act fresh and a dozen dead Somali pirates ....why were they crowding the sea! Enroute to jannat, he met a man in an orange robe and a strange Afro hairstyle. He was trying to drop ash on him and even offered him a gold watch. Bin Laden had to decline politely – the last thing he needed was a watch to time his err... performance. He had 72 dark eyed, nubile things waiting for him and he was waiting for them - oh yeah!

He was expecting more; after all he was the big daddy of Jihadis. 150 perhaps! But in the spirit of camaraderie, he was magnanimous enough leave a few for his Jihadi brothers as well.

His last Earthy abode, Abbottabad was not a bad place to live in. It was far better than the caves of Afganistan and it came fully loaded with post retirement benefits. Cool mansion, cooler neighbours (all of them ex army) and a plush job – Director Subterfuge at the Pakistani Military Academy. He was after all a world renowned expert in ratting it out in caves. And with Islamabad just a stone throw’s away, he could order his favourite Mutton Korma Pizza from Dominos anytime. Last week was heaven – it was the buy one get one week. Burp....

His only galti se mistake - he loaded FB on his mobile. Boy! was he hooked. A hitherto unknown world opened up for him – he would spend hours saving lost kitties on Farmville, stay up all night playing Mafia Wars. He even met an interesting woman online – damn was she hot! But she beat him black and blue in Scrabble. How he wished he had paid more attention to English in school. Sadly he thought it was a language of the infidels, but in today’s world, to survive you have to know English! How else do you order a Pizza on the phone?

Zawahiri marked for convinience

His bhai jaan thinks it was his last status message “Chilling out at Abbottabad” that did them in. Sigh...even Osama is not safe in Pakistan. But he knows his bloody legacy is in the safe hands of his second in command Aiman-Al –Zawahiri. Too bad the chappie’s forehead has a bulls- eye marked for convenience. Might as well walk around wearing a Tee that reads Shoot me!

He wondered how many were chanting Tere Bin Laden in his memory. Osama will always be a martyr that nobody will forget in haste. Those treacherous Pakistanis ratting out on him and now acting coy – he couldn’t wait to haunt them as a bhoot. Look at the Indians, such nice people. They keep making movies on him. He just read that they are making another one – Shootout at Abbottabad, in his dear departed memory.

Osama’s mobile beeps - yes even jannat is well connected. There’s a new message waiting for him besides the Satanic Services Welcomes you to hell, roaming charges apply. This one is a thank-you-for-dying note from Obama. He raises his eyebrows quizzically.

As bin Laden walks is the reception, he curls up his nose in disgust. The decor is too loud for his taste, the music jarring and it’s too hot for comfort. It almost feels like hell. He will have to speak to maintenance. With a rakish smile he walks up to the receptionist and asks – “This is Osama, I believe there’s a consignment waiting for me – the 72 virgins”. The girl gives a panicked look, picks up the phone and talks in an agitated tone - Emergency, there has been premature delivery at the incorrect address and he is making weird requests. Isn’t this bloke supposed to be clean shaven, American and delivered to heaven! Osama grits his teeth and in a low menacing tone he says –This isOsama bin laden, not Obama......google me lady! The girl sighs in relief and gives him a sheepish smile. Err sir I am afraid we are a bit out of stock now. Your buddy Saddam reached much earlier than you did and charmed the waiting virgins! And the remaining, were taken by Achmed the cute terrorist. All he had to say was “I’ll keeeel you” and the girls would swoon in ecstasy. But I believe we do have a few mature ones remaining for you. Like wine they got better with age just for your sake.

One look at them and Osama starts sobbing – all these years of hardship for this!! Even the Somali Pirates were better looking than them.

Suddenly the PA system comes to life “Welcome to hell, hope you have a pleasurable stay”. He goes back to the reception and barks “I believe there has been a mistake, I should have been in jannat and not hell”!! The girl smiles back - Sir your membership to Jannat expired long ago and you have been downgraded to hell! He stomps out mumbling “I’ll keeeel you” and furiously keys in his latest tweet.....Happy as hell with mah six dozen virgins. He wouldn’t want to disappoint his Earthly Jihadis, would he.

monsoon which is soemthing which all love from their heart

As we all are now in the end week for the month of may the hot summer is some what more but also the same time it is also realised that very soon we are going to enter the monsoon season and already known in many of the places specially in last week and even today morning the few drops of rainwater and the clouds in the sky are seen that means very soon we are going to have heavy rainfall and as it is officially we are entering the monsoon season

usually till the last year there was rain first week of may due to that reason there was big loss in the agriculture specially thee was heavy loss for mangoes which got wasted but this year it is different and completing the proper period of summer now we will be in monsoon era for 2011.

Personely saying i just love monsoon season the time when rain starts there is a special smell which one experiences only during the monsoon and the first rain the way it spreads all over from every corner it is like even that portion is wellcoming that rainfall to come and fulfill our thirt and every one of us some or another way using the exquse of not using umbreallas or windshitter enjoys that rainwater and that is something all of us just love doing it

yes its true sometimes rain water is just flooded every where the roads are blocked then traffic problems and also there is more dirt but simply the best expereince ever

i still remember when i was in school specially when i was in 1st standuard those days specially while comming back home from school while comming back home from the JJ Hospital which is one of the largest hospitals all over asea and very big space those days while monsoon it used to be full flooded with rainwater and water used to come till my chest i still remember and that used to be such a wonderful moment we all used to pass from there so nisely without any fear because that time there was no drainage(gatar) nor anything used to be kept open there most of all with our school guys and gurls that moment i still remember and that enjoyment is most important memory which i will remember every monsoon

This season is also something which is said to be good time or subh muharat to start something new thats the reason the schools,colleges,univercity reopens during this season where all due to monsoon best feeling are so excited to start their new work and all are having some natural willingness may be this monsoon itself brings for us also most of the marrages,family events and special programmes even if not that every one at their homes enjoy normal tea party with their family or friends with some monsoon romantic songs and enjoy themself

There is really no words for me to express this great god gift called monsoon to all of us which is just full of happiness and now guys get ready because if you have not thaught of this wonderful season before now it is time to realise it and make yours life with more wonderful memories

how much proudly are we following the rules?

I personnaly belive that our Indian people or Indian origins are one of the best people in this whole world. I am not saying because i myself an Indian but the fact and the results which i have with me. when ever there is some counting or test

taken it is being known that indians are most intelligent,understand feelings and when ever they work anywhere they except that place as their own home and cair for its futher in the recent study made by the oxford univercity it was known that any where in the world indians are the one who go beyond their given work and brings the actual conclution but others just do whatever the work tey are given and in most of the places in the world organs

iations prefer indians or will choose indian brands even the khandi products are making very well profit specially in american and european countries as per the khadi commission report for 2008, same way here in india as we can see lots of scope for carreer,the best education if offered by the schools and univercities. The Nalanda and Dhirubhai international schools are some of the best educational institutions available here. The same way best colonies for the people to stay which are called as American colanies are are also having NRIs staying here some of them are Rahejas and others making best places for us same way the new apportunities for higher life style like various malls, enjoying meal in best resturents like Mc Donalds, Pizza Huts and other, we have the best car roaming in the streets todays best air conditioned buses and trains are of international standuard level and now in comming time we are going to have mono rails and are going to have life like full american standuard

But there is one thing which have not yet being changed that is how many of us still obey the rules, my special focus is on rules made by our country. It is my personnel expereince not only in Mumbai,Delhi,Ahmedabad,Cochin but many other places i guess people dont want to obay the rules take an example of the streets the people dont want to walk on footpath do not obay the traffic rules even the people with their vehicles does the same,still there are so many people while travelling from government buses and trains do not purchase tickets, still there are child marrages,dowry and other malpractices are still followed, no body cairs and throw the waste on the street it self i have seen many of the roads having brandmark of their tobacco pan which people spits openly there are many more things which no one cairs and belive it is their right and are free to do it

This is something which have been like fashion from the time of indipendence it is said that in british era rules were very stricts and the one who breaks the rules were hitted badly there itself and we all read it in our indian independence but from that time later may be government have always been so busy with their own problems and in this what happend was even the government employees started breaking the rules like not on time in work, corruptions and not doing proper work and this made to be even the ministers and the whole government to be like this today actually saying no one is much following the rules infact even if we all personnaly check we will find we are not able to follow everything

Today most of the people who try to follow the rules people make fun of them but it is the time now we need to improve firstly we all need to know this is our country and if we are not proud of our own country we will not be sucessful any where as it is our motherland bharat mata when one realises this we could realise why to observe this rules someitmes i persoonly feels americans are more great than us because see the way how they love their country and then we know how they respect the rules and everything of there and then we have to do it there and only then we will be able to speak proudly about our country i feel this is something very important while the time we are making our country a developed nation