Love to Love

LOVE

Probably the only word which has so many interpretations, definitions, yet there is still no universally apt one. The dictionary says it’s “a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection” or “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.” What exactly is this feeling or attraction?

Every Cinderella longs to find her Prince Charming and live happily ever after. We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Our emotions get magnified, senses get heightened, and we are flying in seventh heaven. It may only last a moment, an hour, a day, but that doesn’t diminish its value….

It’s so funny how we have absolutely no control over this one feeling. You think you are in love, but then are you? How do you prove it? Does love at 1st sight exist? Can you be in love a second time? maybe a 3rd, 4th? For that matter are you sure it is love and not lust or infatuation??

Have you ever been sweeped off your feet by a man/woman standing next to you in a queue? Is it merely infatuation, a strong shot of chemistry, or budding love – the real thing? Is Cupid playing a prank or bringing you true love forever? Could it be estrogen and testosterone hormones that addict us to our lovers?

I always thought ‘Love at first sight’ is not believable. Love takes time. Lust, on the other hand, at first sight sounds much more accurate. Since time immemorial we are hearing that ‘love is blind’. But that’s a mistake; real love is not blind. Quite the opposite, it is a relationship in full awareness. Over time, through good communication and wisdom, you can start knowing your partner. Gradually, you become aware of his/her flaws and try to work your differences in a healthy way. Lust, on the other hand, could be perceived as being “blind” as it usually distorts reality, especially when you’re so involved that you don’t care to find out the real persona of your partner.

But then again, there’s no hard and fast rule, that love should take its time and it’s not blind and all that. Infact, there’re no set defining characteristics of love.

Eitherway, love or lust, what exactly goes through the mind and heart of the person feeling the sudden burst of emotions for this special someone is what I wonder.

All your life you guard yourself. Build all the defenses and armors, pretend to be strong. Then one day some stupid person no different from any other stupid person enters your stupid life.

They didn’t ask for it. You invited the person in. They must have just smiled, said a hi or maybe only gave you a glance.. but for you, Life changes!

It takes you hostage within yourself. You can’t think of anything else. You start to fantasize. The few minutes that caused all this is replayed a million times in your mind. You want more. So you add scenes to those 5 minutes everytime you replay.

You don’t just give them a piece of you. You give them the whole you. Your thoughts, your heart, your mind.

Years later also it’s not forgotten, its right there in one corner of your heart. It’s getting nurtured, without you even knowing it exists. Or else, why does your heart pound everytime you hear their name.

You let them in, but can you take them out? I don’t think so…try it!

It turns you inside out. And if they reciprocate, how do you know they are not teasing you? How do you know it’s not lust for them, but true love for you?? You want to give yourself to him/her, but then your scared of what is the truth, you are cautious to not get your finger burnt, you probably build the walls higher… but then the need to be loved back by him/her will make you just forget all your inhibitions and enjoy the moment. And then when you are deep into the relation, what if the other person says the ever famous words “let’s take a break” or “I need some space” or even worse “let’s be friends”. Oh believe you me, it’s more painful than a glass splinter piercing your heart a million times, to hear that line.

It hurts. Badly! It really gets inside you and rips you apart, leaving you in a state where death would be considered heaven!

That’s it!, we think. No more relations, no more guys, no LOVE. But then probably a day later, month or even a year, your heart pounds and beats much faster when you see a guy at a party and you feel that you’ve never felt that way for anyone before. So what was it before then?? Love or Infatuation?

I guess we humans fear being in love, but still want to be in it. Always. Because, there’s no better feeling in this world than that of love.

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. ~Mother Teresa

Who, being loved, is poor? ~Oscar Wilde